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A
SSOCIATED
N
EWSPAPERS OF
M
ICHIGAN
P
AGE
6
May 10, 2012
Every day when I get to the
office, there are a few hundred
emails awaitingmy attention. That
attention is almost always immedi-
ately rendered with unrestrained
use of the delete button, but
recently I received the essay
below written by John Cleese of
MontyPython fame.
I laughed until my sides hurt
and I can't help but envy his
unique perspective of world poli-
tics.
The State of theWorld
By JohnCleese
The English are feeling the
pinch in relation to recent events
in Syria and have therefore raised
their security level from “Miffed”
to “Peeved.”
Soon, though, security levels
may be raised yet again to
“Irritated” or even “A Bit Cross.”
The English have not been “A Bit
Cross” since the blitz in 1940
when tea supplies nearly ran out.
Terrorists have been re-catego-
rized from “Tiresome” to “A
Bloody Nuisance.” The last time
the British issued a “Bloody
Nuisance” warning level was in
1588, when threatened by the
SpanishArmada.
The Scots have raised their
threat level from “Pissed Off” to
“Let's get the Bastards.” They don't
have any other levels. This is the
reason they have been used on the
front line of the British army for
the last 300 years.
The French government
announced yesterday that it has
raised its terror alert level from
“Run” to “Hide.” The only two
higher levels in France are
“Collaborate” and “Surrender.”
The rise was precipitated by a
recent fire that destroyedFrance 's
white flag factory, effectively para-
lyzing the country's military capa-
bility.
Italy has increased the alert
level from “Shout Loudly and
Excitedly” to “Elaborate Military
Posturing.” Two more levels
remain: “Ineffective Combat
Operations” and “ChangeSides.”
The Germans have increased
their alert state from “Disdainful
Arrogance” to “Dress in Uniform
and Sing Marching Songs.” They
also have two higher levels:
“Invade
a
Ne i ghbour ”
and “Lose.”
Belgians, on the other hand, are
all on holiday as usual; the only
threat they are worried about is
NATOpulling out of Brussels .
The Spanish are all excited to
see their new submarines ready to
deploy. These beautifully designed
subs have glass bottoms so the new
Spanish navy can get a really good
look at the oldSpanishnavy.
Australia, meanwhile, has
raised its security level from “No
Worries” to “She'll Be All Right,
Mate.” Two more escalation levels
remain: “Crikey! I think we'll need
to cancel the barbie this week-
end!” and “The barbie is can-
celled.” So far no situation has
everwarranteduse of the last final
escalation level.
A final thought - “ Greece is col-
lapsing, the Iranians are getting
aggressive, and Rome is in disar-
ray.Welcome back to 430BC”.
The dichotomy of local governing is often confusing.
Having been observing and reporting on communities for
decades, there are some actions that, at first blush, seem so
opposite as to be unrelated. Then, upon closer inspection, the
similarities of philosophies of governance are unflatteringly
apparent.
In some communities we serve, tax revenues are down so
far that the impact on city services has been severe. In one of
those municipalities the city manager is doing whatever he
can to negotiate intergovernmental agreements with other
communities to attempt to cut costs and still provide basic
services. His efforts are prompted by a desire to save money
and follow the dictates of the governor regarding state shared
revenue funding.
Property values have decreased by 10-30 percent just this
last year in this older community which has historically
depended on a major automotive plant for the bulk of its
operating tax revenue. That drop in home values meant a
commensurate drop in tax revenue coming to the city.
It's not an easy time for anyone to try to manage a commu-
nity, that's for sure. It's not an easy time for anyone to try and
manage a personal and family budget, either.
It's certainly not a time to place a special assessment on
homeowners who, for the most part, have at least one or
more foreclosed homes on their street and watch the quality
of their neighborhoods decline further every day, as incomes
decrease and home maintenance falls further and further
down the priority list.
This city claims it is unable to keep paying a $400,000-
$500,000 bill to keep the street lights operating, so a special
assessment has been levied against residents and businesses.
The assessments vary, based on some confusing formula of
being adjacent to or near a streetlight. We've been told one
business is looking at a $600 fee the owners claimthey cannot
afford to a senior citizenwho will feel a pinch at the $30 she's
being asked to pay.
While the $30 doesn't seem likemuch to some folks, it is on
top of a public safety millage hike voters approved, and after
a few of these “small bumps,” it does begin to impact many
Law Day
is worth
the effort
”
Arrogance is lurking danger in elected office
It's not an easy time for anyone to try
to manage a community, that's for sure.
It's not an easy time for anyone to try and manage
a personal and family budget, either.
Last week, several teen offend-
ers stood before a judge to learn
the consequences of their crimes.
Many of them were not in the
usual courtroom however, but in a
classroom where juries of their
peers could easily be found.
In Westland, Chief Judge
Sandra Ference Cicirelli and
Judge Mark A. McConnell went to
Stevenson Middle School to bring
the court experience to students
last week. Justice was adminis-
tered to young offenders facing
charges including shoplifting, drug
possession and traffic offenses, in
front of classrooms full of students.
Many other district courts and
school districts also celebrate Law
Day by taking the courtroom to the
classroom and we give them high
marks, indeed, for making the law
a tangible and real experience for
many teens. Many of these stu-
dents have come no closer to a real
courtroom than Law and Order
reruns or Harry's Law, and the real
experience can often be eye-open-
ing and sobering.
The first time in a real court-
room, whether it be the federal
building in downtown Detroit or
one of the local district courts can
be an intimidating and frightening
experience for adults, no matter
which side of the case they may be
on. This is a place where truth is
supposed to be sacred, where pro-
cedures and rules are strict and
where the person on the bench,
wearing the black robe literally
controls individual fates. One
wrong word, and who knows what
might happen.
Having the court go into the
schools, letting students see the
consequences of bad choices and
unwise actions can obviously be a
great deterrent to crime. It is also
educational and enlightening and
almost guaranteed to add to the
emotional maturity of young peo-
plewho experience it.
At Wayne Memorial High
School some years ago, one class-
room was actually built out as a
mock courtroom and juries select-
ed from students who then handed
down verdicts after hearing testi-
mony. The ruling judge would then
pass sentence on the offender, and
none of those students ever forgot
the enormous responsibility they
felt when deciding the guilt or
innocence of one of their own.
These courts in the school class-
rooms are very real. The sentences
meted out to defendants are real
and will be served, whether it is a
fine, probation, public service or
even jail. What is also very real is
the sense of authority and justice
that the judges carrywith them.
We applaud all the judges
throughout the area who partici-
pated in the numerous exercises
for Law Day, whether they went to
the trouble and inconvenience of
traveling to a local school or
helped organize student visits to
their courtrooms. It is a worth-
while effort and provides a benefit
that lasts far into the future.
The French government
announced yesterday that
it has raised its terror alert level
from “Run” to “Hide.
See
Danger,
page 7
”
Monty Python writer takes on world politics
Letters
Food drive is Saturday
To the editor:
The National Association of
Letter Carriers (NALC) will cele-
brate the 20th Anniversary of the
"Stamp Out Hunger" food drive on
Saturday, May 12, 2012 and collect
nonperishable and non expired
food and toiletry items. All food
collected by the Plymouth and
Canton mail carriers will be dis-
tributed to those in need in this
community.
Residents throughout Plymouth,
Plymouth Township and Canton
are encouraged to place non-
expired, non-perishable food and
toiletry items in a bag by theirmail-
boxes, allowing neighborhood let-
ter carriers to collect the dona-
tions.
All types of food are needed, but
in particular, canned meats
(tuna/chicken), canned fruit ,
Spaghetti-o's (and other canned
meals), cereal, peanut butter and
jelly, and juice are in high demand
as are all toiletries.
The postal workers are stepping
up to collect the food, but the suc-
cess of the drive depends on com-
munity participation to fill the bags
with non-expired food. Please
join with the letter carriers, your
neighbors, First United Methodist
Church, St. Anthony's and The
Salvation Army to "stamp out
hunger in our community.
Major DanHull,
Corps Officer (pastor) of The
PlymouthCorps.